It never made much sense to me So I gave it meaning I always blamed myself Not knowing what I needed The world, it almost ended twice And I’m still healing I say everything out loud How come I feel so small Being the bigger person? What do I do with all my pride If I’m still hurting? I’ll drag my feet, make up my mind Then I’ll be leaving I always dreamed I’d make it out Still can’t fight the feeling Still can’t fight the feeling I held my breath so long A whisper felt like screaming I learned to say that i’m enough Someday I’ll mean it There’s no reward for honesty When it’s unappealing I don’t know any other way Who do I worship when it’s Me I should believe in? Why does becoming more myself Look just like grieving? Not the best at acting tough But I’m not defeated I got so much more to say Still can’t fight the feeling Still can’t fight the feeling Pour out my soul just to feel like I don’t have Any control over all that is thrown at Me when I'm standing here holding my own hand Building a home just to roam like a nomad If it won’t kill me but it’s here to stay Guess I’ll grow around it Guess I’m taking it with me It never made much sense to me So I gave it meaning I let it take up so much space Why would I stay here trying to win When I’m done competing? I always knew I’d make it out